twenty-nine

I own a personality more prone to obsessive behaviors. If I stumble across something I like, then its all systems go. Sometimes this can be happy, like organizing the house, beefing up my BBC movie collection, or always wearing my seatbelt. Sometimes this can cause less than happy thoughts...

Lately my obsession: turning 30 this year. I know, I KNOW its not old. But it is.

The big birthday doesn't occur until much later this year, but still like I mentioned, I am obsessing.

Today I got my hair done. And I asked my young and trendy, 20-something-year-old hairdresser to stop and have a serious moment of truth with me. "Have you spotted any gray hairs?" She swore she hadn't and talked about the beauty of being blonde mixed in with "can't believe your really that old." But I am mortified that it's come to this.

Do I need to start putting special cream on my face? What trends are totally out for me once I cross over into the 30's that everyone will be secretly thinking "Oh honey, give it up. You are too old to pull that off." And I am anxiously awaiting for the first wrinkle and age spots to make their way onto my body. Urgh. What made it worse was Bug had me take an online health survey for our insurance, and basically my results were: "Nice try. But at your age we know you need to eat more fruits and veggies, and don't even think you can get away with drinking that much Dr. Pepper a day."

I love the '30 before 30 goals' that's circulating around blogland. I have composed most of mine, but still need a few "fun" ones to make it on there. (Most involve taking loads of this or that to the DI.) I also mentioned this to my young & hip hairdresser, which she mentioned skydiving. Skydiving? (My reaction alone to her might suggest I am actually turning 65) No no no. That will never do. I was thinking something more wild and crazy like getting my passport (without a destination and/or trip in mind) or planning on getting x number of pedi/mani's before 30...you know: totally zany, but do-able for this semi-restrained 29 year old.

To all my 30+ year old friends: tell me it gets infinitely better (lie if you have to).

I never considered myself one of "those people" that insists it's always their 29th birthday 25 years later. I really am working on embracing this whole new decade thing. But you see, I think its so difficult because my 20's were so good to me.

Maybe I am just not good at goodbyes?

the new house

Hello again.

I have to warn you, loosing our last three remaining grandparents all under a year has been tough on us. Its seems I am more prone to being emotional lately. Since grandpa passed away, I find myself saving up stories to tell him, or the latest news he'd get a chuckle over. Then it hits me. I need someone else to start saving up stories for, I guess. So consider us on the market for some new grandparents. You know, ones that will let us come over on a whim, marvel at how wonderful our children are, and tell us over and over how proud they are of us. If you know of anyone...

At the funeral, I had several of you mention you were ready to see pictures of the house. I was hesitant up to now to post because I didn't want to hurt grandma or grandpas feelings. So, lets go for it.

Welcome.

As soon as you come in, you would see this in the entry way. The lamp: a purchased vase from the DI no less, made into a lamp (by my friend). And yes, that is a picture of our dog. The dog we loved, adored, had birthday parties for, and an entire wardrobe for (complete with little purple long johns). The same dog who is living with my parents since we gave them permanent custody.
The front room. If you'll remember I went from reds to blues, grays and golds. Love it. Bug loves my desire to design on a dime. We've already spent some good time in here.

Here's a good shot of a little chair my grandma used to sit on while she oil painted.

And, my latest find: this table full of character and charm. I am a full blown consignment lover.
Too bad I am too lazy to lighten up the color from the picture for you so you too can take it all in.

And yes, we do already have doilies, valentines and hearts littered about the house. (the hearts were saved from when the YW in my old ward "heart attacked" us) As I was putting up the valentine decor I remembered how it was last Valentines we celebrated by attending my grandma's funeral.

It does feel like home now. That always takes awhile, doesn't it?

My next big undertaking is the kitchen/dinning room. Big plans there. After that: tackle the pink bathroom...with the only plan so far involving a sledge hammer for major demo work.

I am also still putting together my list of new years resolutions. Does it count if I start working on them in February?

And, for those interested I have been called to Primary. I haven't been in primary since I was a kid. I teach the Valiant 8/9/10 year olds. I have already been teaching them all the important things in life, like scripture etiquette, what mascara is, and the song to books of the new testament. Not sure if they appreciate my sense of humor yet. Bug has also been called to be the cub scout den pack leader or something other. He is excited to lead the group in watermelon cheers and such.

That wraps this post up of all my this-and-that information. For my house picture desiree's: hope that quells your longing. For my YW readers that forbade me to be in the YWs in the new ward, you may now rejoice. And for everyone else: hang in there. I promise the next post will not include the themes involving funerals or death.

heartbroken

My blogging friends, I turn to you one more time. With heavy heart we lost our sweet, sweet grandpa earlier today. It was somewhat sudden. Bug visited with him yesterday, and although saw a decline didn't expect that it would be the "last time." We got the dreaded phone call this afternoon at 11:30 saying he had days. So with a few phone calls and schedule rearrangements we planned to say our last goodbyes later this afternoon. It was while Bug called to say we were headed over when we got the news.

I still can't believe it.

I feel qualified now to say that I have watched someone die of a broken heart. If you remember it was our sweet grandma who passed away less than 3 weeks ago. I still have flowers from the funeral scattered in vases around the house. I believe the saddest moment of my life was watching him break down at Grandma's funeral, and then taking the bus back to the nursing home instead of going on with us to the cemetery. And 22 lonely days later, he decided to join her. Bless them both for the reunion they are enjoying right now.

Immediately after meeting Grandpa, I knew I had not only a new loving grandpa in my life, but also a friend. I loved it when we would tease each other. He always had that special knack of making me feel an important part of the conversation.

He worked really hard his whole life. I remember all the countless stories he would tell about growing up in the rural part of the state, going to medical school, missions, raising his children, serving in the church. He knew so much about everything, and still continued to be interested in learning more.

Our last visit was a week ago today. We laughed, 'A' sang Rudolph, and we said some teary goodbyes (although he assured us he would live another 10 years). I had such a heavy heart leaving him that night in the nursing home.

And so, here I sit. Typing on the computer that was once his. Sitting in my project room that was once his office. Earlier today, I could almost see him puttering around the yard like he used to do, planning on what plant or flower he wanted where. Since we now attend grandpa & grandma's old ward, a lady introduced herself to me and then told me how highly she thought of grandpa. The word she used a couple times was classy. Couldn't have come up with a more perfect word.

Grandpa, how grateful your own suffering has come to a quick end. Yet still, you will be greatly missed.

xoxo

welcome 2011

Welcome 2011.

I was anxious for you to arrive. Granted, we didn't greet you entirely proper since we rang in the new year somewhere around 8:45 p.m. But no matter. It was still a profoundly fun evening with good company, and good food (if I do say so myself).

But back to why I am glad for your arrival: 2010 was definitely memorable. With moving and everything else that comes with that, as well as the loss of a dearly loved lady, we ended the year in more of a frenzie then to be expected.

2011: I know you'll be a good one for us. I just do. Some evidence of this: yesterday (the first dreaded Monday of the year) I had the morning off. And it was lovely. Bug randomly had that day off and since he used most of his vacation time for funeral stuff, this day was preciously dedicated to my enjoyment. While Bug spent the morning carpooling kids to preschool, making DI runs, helping his mom, and being a dad I spent it shopping. And what better places to go when kid-less? Hobby Lobby. (I'll even admit I went to both Hobby Lobby's yesterday morning...I was on a particular quest) Target and Costco slipped in my line up as well. Can't tell you how much I enjoyed roaming up the aisles without having to pickup a bottle that had been chucked on the ground for the billionth time, or having to stress about something getting knocked over.

It gets better. When we all returned home from the morning adventures, I was able to sneak in some more me time watching a bbc show. I also registered for another art class. Hoping 2011 will be the big year to bring back oil painting in my life. Then after nap time: dinner out & delivering my sisters birthday present. Perfect day.

Thank you 2011 for already being kind. I can't wait to see what else is in store.